When I was a freshman in college I realized that when circumstances were well, that was when I spent time with the Lord less. I didn't need him then, I was able to hold my own. By God’s grace I had grown to hate that thought of myself by then. But then I began to continuously pray for God to do absolutely anything to me so that I will always have to depend on him. And I meant anything.
I read stories of how different people had been paralyzed and had been stricken with illness but only trusted God the more. I wanted that unshaken faith. That faith which lives in this world solely for God’s glory but knows that this world is not all there is. Illnesses did not frighten me. I assured myself that anything to bring me to a humble state would only glorify the Lord tremendously.
Years later, I found myself reading a story of a woman who prayed the same prayer centuries ago and was stricken with a deadly illness which left her nearly dead on her bed day by day. It did not scare me at first, but I began to realize the severity of the prayer I had been praying. “Is this what I want?, umm, God might really answer it,” I told myself.
My prayer has changed a little from those days. Heartbreaks are part of this world because of the fall. I want to live a blessed life all the time! But trials are going to come. God should not keep all of them away from me if he loves and wants me to become like Christ. My suffering in any aspect is my fellowship (identification) with Christ and his gospel (Philippians 1:29). My prayer is now: “Lord, have your way with me and in me, but give me the joy and strength to endure and persevere through anything.”
And there is a joy in the midst of every suffering. It is always hard to see from the outside because every suffering is VERY real, but if we could see it the way God saw Joseph sold into slavery by his own brothers, Moses abandoned in a basket on the Nile, and the way God saw Christ on the cross, we could see what it leads to. At the end of the day, at the end of anything that happens while I am here on this earth, I’d rather have fellowship with God, the Maker of the heavens and earth. That trumps everything! Oswald Chambers writes, “If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.”
Kingsley
What is the the change from the intial prayers, and that which you now do?
ReplyDeleteI am just like any other believer, I ask to live a blessed life everyday. Most of my prayers are thanksgiving, but in the midst of any type of hardship, my prayer is to be delivered, and not go through it. We're always to make our requests known to God, perhaps he will deliver us from it and that will be his purpose. But then, my prayers end with asking him to guide me along the path of his divine will and purposes. I pray the prayer of Paul. Paul's prayer over and over again for the saints he wrote his letters to in the New Testament was for God to fill them with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding (Colossians 1, and Ephesians 1). When I know God's and his purposes better, I can understand why some things happen though I cannot understand the reason behind every happening. Hope this answers your question.
ReplyDeleteI believe it might just have done it
ReplyDelete