I CAN'T BREATHE

Before it’s my name that becomes a hashtag, let me tell you why it’s time to start treating overt and covert racism as a chronic illness in America. 

If you put me and my black friends in a room, all of us have an experience of being mistreated by an individual or institution. 

My story includes an experience from eleven years ago in 2009. I had just pulled out of a popular snowballs place in Bedford, TX late at night with a friend in the front passenger seat. We had just come from a Bible Study pool party at a friends house in Grapevine. My friend lost his house key and we had retraced his steps back to the snowball place where we were earlier in the day. 

As we were leaving, a police car sped directly in front of my car so we couldn’t move. The officer came out and asked what we were doing and I gave him the spill of searching for my friends keys. I even had a digital camera that had pictures of us at the location prior in the day. I flipped through them to show the officer but he was disinterested. He asked for our ID’s and went to his car to scan them. What’s chilling to what happened next is that playing in the background on my cars CD player is Michael Jackson’s “They don’t care about us” a song about police brutality and injustice written in 1995. 

As the police officer is approaching the car, my friend who has only his swimming trunks on and is shirtless decides to put his shirt on from his bag on the floor in front of him because he was getting cold. The officer seeing this took out his gun and waved it in our face and asked us if we wanted to get our *expletive* heads blown off!! My friend and I were absolutely terrified!!

He then for the first time told us to place our hands on the dashboard. He called back up. I was 18 years old at the time, and my black friend was 16. In less than 5 minutes, 1 police car turned into 9 police cars surrounding us. 

We got out of the car with our hands behind our back. They searched my entire car and even went through luggage I had of toiletries I was taking to a mission trip to Rwanda a few days after that. I was baffled seeing something I only saw on TV shows like Cops happening to me at 18!

I was infuriated at the moment and told the other police officers what had happened and that the first officer took out his gun on us. They were appalled, advised me to calm down and told the first officer to leave. After an hour of shaking while they searched my car, they apologized and asked me if I needed a guide home and I told them no. I got home that night after 2am and paced back and forth in our living room until the sun came up. 

I can share other stories even of one recently in December 2019 when I was pulled over for speeding while on my way to a church event. I responded to the prompting of the officer to get my insurance out of my glove compartment and as I reached for it, he quickly got in position to pull his gun. 

If you’re dismissive, you’ll say I hate law enforcement when you don’t know most of my immigrant family has served in the US military and currently serves in law enforcement. I know it’s a tough job but that’s why we should restrict who’s able to hold that badge and gun! Before it’s my family that is on the news describing how of a nice guy and an outstanding citizen I was, and how I nearly had a 4.0 GPA in college and graduated seminary and became a pastor, listen to me NOW when I say covert and overt racism is a chronic illness in America and it’s time to start treating it as such!!

So here is a solution out of many. 

For the individual:

1. Your experience in life isn’t the same for others so be humble and listen when someone describes how life is for them. Don’t be quick to judge or attempt to find proof for your presumptions about people and situations. Just listen and try to see the world through their eyes. Try your hardest to build friendships with people outside your tax bracket and ethnicity. You’ll find wealth in other places beside money. 
2. This comes with listening but empathize. We should not only focus on thinking right but also on feeling right and doing right. If a video of a police officer’s knee on another mans neck as he pleads for help doesn’t cause you grief, something is wrong with your nervous system to say the least. Don’t stop at just empathizing when tragedies happen, but empathize for those who are mistreated on a daily basis. For an example, speak up for people like my sister who served in the US military and was asked to resign from her job years ago because she had an accent. 
3. For those of you who do listen and empathize and may feel misunderstood some times. Thank you! You are loved! Keep building bridges, sharing, posting, marching, and speaking out at your dinner tables and offices. Don’t cower! You are needed now more than ever!

For institutions:

1. I’m directly talking to anything that is established. From the national government to local governments and everything between including schools and churches. Start treating overt and covert racism as a chronic illness. What I’m describing is the kind of attention and fiscal support breast cancer research gets. Let’s get a label on Yoplait yogurt if we must and have a designated month for awareness. This isn’t a problem just for minorities. This isn’t an inconsequential problem. It’s woven in the fabric of this nation. It’s our problem! It’s a significant problem for all of us to address!
2. Think of ways your structures and cultures perpetuate various forms of prejudices and racism and address them. Develop a more robust system to train on diversity and deter people of deep biases from holding the badge and gun!
3. Look forward to and always plan towards breaking the status quo. Inspire hope by aiming to achieve the ideal of liberty and justice for all. Don’t let it be just words on a piece of paper!

Tears have welled up in my eyes many times this past week for George Floyd and his family. He said I can’t breathe! I was just reading a story of a lifelong friend describing losing his father at five years old who was shot dead by a police officer. I don’t even know who still needs convincing that covert and overt racism exists! Choose to listen now, because the truth is it’s hard for my black friends and I to breathe!

#justiceforGeorgeFloyd

21 Tough Questions & Straight Answers

Below are responses I gave to various questions while working with an online chat ministry three years ago. Over the course of a year, I had multiple conversations with different people all over the world on the internet. I hope what's below can help someone who needs a response to a question. I did not come up with all of what you will read. I am thankful for other ministers and authors who have helped me. If you will like to talk more about a topic, comment below.

1. What is the Call of God?

In the bible, God's calling usually means a call to salvation or a specific call to use someone to speak on his behalf.You may be asking to know if what you are doing (or what you desire to do) is God's plan for you? God has given each person gifts and abilities to be used for his glory. We don't have to fight between choosing to do ministry as we think of it today and doing something we enjoy and have the God-given skills to do. Each of us, in seeking God in a loving relationship on a daily basis will know how God has made us and in which direction he is stirring us to serve him in the world.

2. Prayers

  I want you to know the greatest joy in life is to know God in a relationship. And it is available through what Jesus Christ did for us on the cross. When we believe in him, God gives us His Spirit so we may grow in this relationship with him. When we believe and trust in Jesus, we receive forgiveness and life now and forever.

 Heavenly Father, I know that I am not perfect and have done wrong against you. But I know through your Son Jesus, I can have a relationship with you and enjoy your presence. I know he died on the cross for my sins to bring me to you. I believe and I receive your Spirit into my life now. In Jesus name, Amen.

3. Creation/Evolution Dialogue

 My personal view is understanding that the bible is not a textbook; especially not the ones we have in our modern world. The creation story is a story given to a people to explain to them the power of an eternal God who created everything. There is one huge point throughout the entire bible, that God is an all-powerful God, and there is nothing he cannot do. I really don't know how old the earth is, to be honest with you. Those who believe it to be 6,000 years old are counting based on what they read in Scripture, and like I said, the creation story I believe is saying God created the world, and that God is powerful. The Bible is not giving the littlest details like how we are interested in today. But the message to us is God owns the world and works within it.

4. Why Do Bad Things Happen?

Good question. Bad things really happen to all people. Evil things happen because this world is broken. BUT God is working to fix it. He began to fix this broken world through Jesus who was the best person who ever lived but died for this world to be fixed, and also for us to be fixed.

5. Why Marriage?

It is not a piece of paper that makes a marriage. That is an important part of it. But what makes a marriage is making a commitment to God before your family, friends, and a minister to love despite the circumstances. Whatever type of relationship you are in now, you could get up and leave without anyone holding you accountable. Marriage is a commitment made to God before family and friends with a minister to recognize that covenant to your spouse and God. It is sacred and we have to hold it with high honor.

6. Is God Real?

Yes, God is real and he desires you to be in a relationship with him. We cannot see God because he is Spirit. But when we trust in him, he works in our lives to build up the little faith we had to trust him at first. After that, we will see him working around us and in us.

7. Why Do I Need to Have Faith?

Faith isn't devoid of reason. Those are honest concerns you have because you are not alone. There have been many people who have lived before you and I and have had those same concerns about not seeing but having to believe. I can tell you from different views how I believe what I believe. Historically, there is no doubt that Jesus lived, and that the New Testament is the best witness to his life. For me personally, my life has been changed by God. When I received Christ, I believe God's Spirit came into my life and did a wonderful work. 

There is a small division between reason and faith, but I want you to know at the least that you are not alone. Thomas, one of the disciples of Jesus who saw him and lived with him, even doubted him from the moment he met him, but at the end, God had to change his life and perspective before he realized that Jesus was the truth. If you seek to understand, pray to God and ask for understanding. You are right, faith is important. But do not neglect or reject it. It should be reasonable that to find faith, you need to ask the God who gives faith.

8. The Trinity?

We believe God is one and is in three persons. Logically, it might not make sense but that is how God has revealed himself to us. Jesus tells us in Matthew 28:19 to baptize people in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Because God is so big, we have to understand that we cannot understand all that he is. His ways and thoughts are higher than ours. It is how he has revealed himself to us in his word.

9. Lord's Supper?

I do think it is spiritual and symbolic at the same time. But for it to be literal, I think the purpose would be lost. Jesus wants us to be mindful in our heart and mind of what our sin cost him at the same time and the Spirit that he provides for dying for us. I am more dependent upon the purpose than I am the actual wafer and juice. The Supper is a reminder of the sacrifice that unites the community to God and to one another as followers of Christ.

10. How Do I Grow In Relationship with God?

There is no formula or code just simply living in relationship with God like we live in relationship with someone else. God is a person so it means that we talk to him (prayer), we listen to him (silence, reading his word, and thinking about it), and that we tell others about him (loving, serving, and worshiping him).

11. What If I Have Doubts?

Doubts are real things, and we experience it from time to time. I want you to know God is able to help all of us through those tough times when we find it hard to believe. We often overcome doubts by repeating truths about God to ourselves. We have to be reminded that God cares about us, God loves us, God created the world, and God has not abandoned the world. Basically that God is good. There are many truths in the bible that can help us overcome our doubts and grow our faith and relationship with Jesus.

12. What Do I Do About My Fears and Anxieties?

I want you to know that you are not alone if you are experiencing fear and anxiety. They are real things that overwhelm us. Most times, our fear and anxiety are because we have looked too much at our problems more than we have looked to God. God is bigger than this world we live in, even more than we can imagine. If our eyes and our love are focused on him, we can trust him to lead us through any challenge.

13. How Do We Know Jesus is Real?

Jesus once walked on this earth and he said many things about himself that we can test. When we believe in his words in the bible, we have the opportunity to experience the things he talked about.

14. How Do We Hear Jesus' Voice?

That is a good question. We have to learn to know his voice through spending time with him in Scripture and thinking about what we read. When we know what he has said in Scripture, his Spirit reminds us of his words in situations. That is how we can know that it is Jesus speaking and not anything else because it agrees with what he has said in the Bible.

15. Is It Bad to Cuss/Swear?

Jesus lets us know that out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. That means whatever comes out of our mouths indicates what is in our heart. If we are saying harmful words towards others or ourselves, that means we have wicked thoughts in our hearts. Colossians 3:8 tells us to rid filthy language from our lips. And Ephesians 4:25 tells us to keep off false speaking and speak truthfully.

16. What is Faith?

To have faith in God is to trust God. We have faith in many things in life. We go to sleep having faith in waking up. We make many decisions having faith the best outcome will come. Faith is not knowing all the details yet believing for the best. In the bible, Hebrews 11:1, faith is described as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

17. What is Love?

Love is acting through deep affection and care for someone else. 1 Corinthians 13 describes it.

18. Free Will/Predestination?

Regardless of God knowing the future, we still have choices in the moment. God wishes no one should perish, that is why he is relentless in sending his Son to the earth that all will believe in him. We have to know certainly that God is going all out for everyone to believe in him and nor perish. We know that everyone has the opportunity through different ways to believe in him or not. (Romans 1:20)

19. How Does a Christian Live?

It is not a list of things to do, but a surrendering to the Spirit that God gives which helps us make decisions in life with love, wisdom, and understanding. We love him with our life by the decisions we make because we are doing it to please him. That is why it is important for believers to read and think about the words of God in the bible. God's Spirit transforms our minds and hearts through the word and helps us live rightly.

20. Any Advice For Life?

I think in those discouraging moments of life the biggest encouragement to me was looking back and seeing how God had been faithful to me before. Also, realizing how he has gifted me and shaped me. What we are doing in the moment is always an indicator of what we will be doing in the future. We make the future in the present as God is our help and sustains us.

21. Is Pre-Marital Sex Bad?

Sex is such a sacred a wonderful thing that it should be preserved between a man and a woman. That they should enjoy each other’s love in a way which includes the physical, yet also the union of souls, commitment, and affection. Premarital sex is a sin because it is treating sex as something ordinary to have between as many people as possible, when it is rather a love to be celebrated over a lifetime between two people. Sex is not just a physical thing, but is a spiritual and emotional union that is why we believe it should be between a husband and a wife as long as they both live.

MORE QUESTIONS AND RESPONSES...

Other Popular Questions I Received and Quick Responses:

Does God care about me?

o   Yes God cares about you so much that he wants to give you life and be your joy and strength in every situation you are in. He knows you well.

     I have sinned so much that I don’t think God can/will forgive me. Will he?

o   God will forgive you. His grace is greater than the guilt you carry. His love is deep for you and will cover all your sins as you look to Jesus.

     Why does God allow/make bad things happen?

o   The world is a broken place and bad things happen. But God is working to restore and heal his people. He is not done with you but has a plan.

     How can I get closer to God?

o   We get closer to God by living the spiritual life in praying, reading & thinking about God’s words, & then living life with other believers.

     How can I tell what God wants me to do/whether he is answering my prayers?

o   God’s will is always for us to have full joy in him no matter what. He answers prayers in 3 ways, yes, no, or not now. Walk with him always.

     How can I be saved? 

o   Say to God “I need you”, & believe Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins. Ask for God’s Spirit to come into your heart & make you new.

     Why do I need Jesus?

o   Jesus is the constant peace and joy no matter what happens in life.

K.D.